Ossa Featured Podcaster: Yue Xu, Co-Host of Date/Able
Yue Xu is the host of Date/able, a podcast that is redefining modern dating. Along with co-host Julie Krafchick, Date/able asks the tough questions about love, sex, romance and more while helping listeners cultivate healthy relationships. The show has been praised as a Top 10 Dating Podcast by The Huffington Post.
With a background as a dating coach, Yue makes the subject of dating approachable to listeners by featuring a diverse group of voices and creating meaningful conversation.
Read more from Yue Xu below and listen to Date/Able here (leave a review, too!):
Tell us what your podcast is about in 3 sentences or less!
Date/able is an insider’s look into modern dating that The Huffington Post calls one of the “Top 10 podcasts about love and sex.” Listen in as Yue Xu and Julie Krafchick talk with real daters about everything from sex parties to sex droughts, date fails to diaper fetishes, and first moves to first loves. Whether you’re looking to DTR or DTF, you’ll have moments of “OMG-that-also-happened-to-me” to “I-never-thought-of-it-that-way-before.”
San Francisco, CA
What’s a quote or piece of advice that you try to live by?
We are all each other’s consequences
The ability to listen without judgment
One thing on your bucket list:
Become the first Asian Oprah
Last text message you sent:
Brainstorm text with my co-host on a racial equality (in dating) town hall
What was your first job?
Assistant at a nursing home
Any unusual hobbies?
I collect “underdog” gadgets. I like to buy gadgets that are not especially popular but I think has a purpose for my life. (i.e., LCD writing pads, Pebble watch, heart rate monitor sports bra)
Biggest Pet Peeve
All words and no action
What inspired you to start your podcast?
I was a dating coach for many years and it was perplexing to me that while dating should be fun, it created so much pain and heartache. I wanted to create a podcast that would help people evolve past the pain with empathy and compassion, so they can actually enjoy dating.
Tell us more about your work/life outside of your podcast.
My day job is a Talent Producer at Tonal, a smart, connected home gym system. Not only do I manage a team of talented fitness trainers, I also produce fitness content and scout for new talent. On my free time, I teach dance fitness classes. I really feel that it’s important to balance both mental and physical wellness with everything that I do.
What is your show’s USP?
Not only do we talk about dating, we dig into the WHY of behaviors and HOW we can change for the future. All of our episodes are very actionable with takeaways and insights.
What is one of the greatest challenges you have personally faced with your podcast?
We started the podcast 4 years ago when our views were, for a lack of better words, surface level. We’ve evolved so much throughout the years and the depth of our content really shows in recent seasons. As such, it has been a challenge having new listeners’ first experience be some of our earlier seasons and that has been shown in some of our reviews. To combat this, we’ve added intros to some of the earlier seasons to explain our evolution and remind them that these are earlier seasons.
What was one of your favorite episodes you’ve ever done? Why does it stand out?
Season 9 Episode 10: Falling into Relationships. We interviewed a dear friend of mine, Dave, who always “falls” into relationships but never falls in love. For years I just assumed he was this eternal bachelor who just couldn’t commit. But in this episode, we reached some eye-opening revelations about his perceptions of love, and we unlocked his emotional cage to receive love again. It was absolutely astounding to hear the change in his voice in just one hour. And today, he lives with his girlfriend who he is madly in love with!
What is one thing you have accomplished with your podcast thus far that you are most proud of?
We’ve provided a platform for so many different voices and perspectives. The depth and diversity in voices is something we are extremely proud of. Even though some of the voices have been controversial, we still kept an open and respectful mindset to have them share their stories. People want to be heard and we are here to listen!
What is one major milestone that you would like to accomplish through your podcast in the next year?
We would love to build a bigger influence by being featured in a national media outlet (TV, magazine, etc). Everyday we get emails from listeners who say that we’ve changed the way they date, look at love, and relate to others. We would love to keep delivering this for an even bigger audience.
What is a trend or development in the podcast industry that you foresee happening in the next few years?
Podcasters will have a much bigger influence in society, which means podcasters will have to become more accountable. We are already seeing that bigger podcasts have come under fire in recent months for what they’ve said or posted in their past. As more and more podcasters are seen as visionaries, leaders, and authorities, we expect there to be more checks and balances for podcasting accountability.
What is one of the best pieces of podcast-related advice you’ve ever received & why?
Constantly evolve. Podcasting is the new blogging. It’s a personal development journey that listeners want to be a part of. It’s OK to acknowledge weaknesses and downfalls of previous episodes and pledge a stronger stance for future episodes.
What is one of the worst pieces of podcast-related advice you have ever received & why?
Don’t start a podcast until you have all your ducks in a row. The process of podcasting is actually the best way to find your voice and to find your audience. There’s no way you could have everything lined up just right in the beginning. If you have something to say, put it out there already. Don’t wait.
What are some of your favorite women-hosted podcasts (besides your own)?
Can you tell us about a time when you took a huge risk/did something you were scared to do, and it totally paid off?
After 7 years in NYC, I felt stuck. I wasn’t thriving in either my personal or professional life, yet, I just kept going through each day like it was business as usual. I felt like I was living but not alive. For Chinese New Year, I decided to take a 2 week trip back to China to visit my extended family. While in Beijing, I met a few expats who had open my eyes to the opportunities for someone like me.
My 2 week trip turned into 2 years! It was one of the most life-changing, life-defining trips of my life and I’m so glad I took the leap of faith. Not only did I get to do unimaginable things during that time (hosted a national TV show in Mandarin, reconnected with my relatives and old classmates, and traveled the world), I also discovered a new me. I felt alive again!
Are there any great podcast-related resources you love that you would like to share?
We’ve really loved our local Podcast Facebook groups in SF. Everyone’s been super supportive and I would imagine they would all be similar in every city. We’ve also kept in touch with many of our previous guests who have podcasts to share advice and resources. It’s been so great building up a network from the ground-up!
Is there a charity or cause you care about that you would like to share?
We are huge fans of mental health and The Loveland Foundation is an absolutely wonderful organization that provides free therapy for Black women and girls.
How do you feel you’re making a positive impact and generating change through your podcast?
We choose to not accept the way things as they are. We question the why, we find the root of the cause, and we open our minds to change our perspectives. Especially in light of what is happening in America today, we believe in digging beyond the surface and getting to the core of what is happening. We pride on going deep on every episode, so we can always come out with a fresh perspective, and maybe even a new way of approaching love.