Self Love is a Journey Not a Destination

self love

Self Love is a Journey Not a Destination

A Guest Feature by Allison Perez, Intuitive Relationship Expert

Self Love is a Journey Not a Destination

Loving yourself is not something that comes naturally to most women. You are taught to put other people’s needs above your own, that self sacrifice is necessary and that having boundaries is unloving – all of which contribute to a self destructive mindset.

Deciding to deeply and truly love yourself, means diving beneath your surface to find the root cause of why you don’t feel like you are good enough just the way you are.

Beginning the process of genuine self love means not blaming external circumstances for your problems and instead looking inward to evaluate how you are part of the problem. However, this does not mean you should beat yourself up over past mistakes. Take a look back at your experiences and accept responsibility for what you have done and then give yourself the gift of forgiveness.

You cannot fully love yourself until you’ve identified the thought patterns that have led you to this moment. This process of reflection will help you break the vicious cycle and boldly step forward into the woman you were meant to be. It is the journey to self love that makes it so special, it’s not something that happens over night. It requires conditioning your brain into practicing positive thinking habits and recognizing the importance of being kind to yourself.

I am an Intuitive Relationship Expert and I teach that in order to love others you first must be able to fully love yourself. To bring my clients on the journey of self love I create a safe space for them to lean into feelings about who they are versus who they want to be and allow them the freedom to explore themselves. This helps them identify their self sabotaging tendencies that keep them from fulfilling their full potential.

My goal is to take them through a journey of awareness, acceptance, forgiveness and healing so that they feel loved and aligned in body and soul. This process puts them in touch with their inner voice, which brings to light what they truly want in terms of their career, relationships, and ultimate direction of their life.  

Treat Yourself With Kindness

Step one of the self love journey is awareness. Understanding the power of your thoughts is an easy way to begin breaking down the harmful habits that keep you from loving yourself.

Awareness helps us recognize that often our biggest bully is ourselves. The mind tends to perpetuate unkind thoughts and they are what I call the “lies we tell ourselves.” We reproduce these destructive thoughts so frequently we don’t even realize how cruel and unforgiving we are being to the only mind and body we’ll ever have.

For example I used to tell myself that my profile was ugly because my nose was too pointy, that my body was unattractive because my thighs and hips were too thick, that I wasn’t creative because I couldn’t draw well. After going through a process of self love I was able to realize that I was not treating myself with respect. Once I gained this awareness I recognized that my face and body allow me to breathe and eat and sleep! That creativity is unique for every individual! And in the place of all of that self loathing came forgiveness and gratitude.

So, I challenge you to ask yourself a very important question, “What lies are you telling yourself?”

Gratitude is Key

Now that you are becoming aware of your negative thoughts and bringing them to the forefront it’s time to learn the power that you have in shifting them. This is where the gratitude challenge comes into play:

The rules of the challenge are simple and easy to follow. This challenge lasts 21 days (but I know many participants who have kept doing it long after and implement it as a daily practice!). Each day for the next 21 days you will write a list of 3 things you are grateful for.

Use the prompts below to help shift your perspective and guide your gratefulness:

#1- Be grateful for something you’re not grateful for

(example: today I’m grateful for this headache because it’s causing me to slow down and take some “me time”)

#2 – Be grateful for something right then and there

(example: in this moment I’m grateful for this super cozy blanket wrapped around my legs)

#3 – Be grateful for something that hasn’t happened yet

(example: I’m grateful for the fun I’m going to have with friends and family this upcoming weekend)

If you follow these prompts the challenge will not only get you into a habit of positive thinking but is also proven to make you happier. I can’t wait to hear your success stories!


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